Muggwumps

How the Muggwumps solved a Big Problem

Wumpland is a strange country. Some times it is far, far away. And sometimes it is very, very close; so close that if you squint your eyes real tight and look over your left shoulder, you can almost see it. It is a beautiful land, with red and blue flowers, and red and blue birds, and the greenest grass you ever saw. And the clouds always look like squirrels and horses and hippopotamuses.

In Wumpland live the Muggwumps. They are nice people, but they are very little. There are also Teenwumps and Bigwumps, but the Teenwumps all stay together and won’t play with the Muggwumps. “You’re too little”, the Teenwumps shout.

The Bigwumps are mostly Daddywumps and Mommywumps. They are nice and they work real hard all day long taking care of the Muggwumps. Sometimes though, when the Muggwumps go out to play, they are all alone. It gets really scary when the Muggwumps are alone and no Bigwumps are around for protection.

“We need a King to take care of us when no Bigwumps are around”, said one of the Muggwumps. “That’s a great idea”, shouted the rest of the Muggwumps. So they decided to pick one Muggwump to be the King of all the Muggwumps.

“A King needs to be BIG so that he can chase away an Eledile if it shows up”, said the littlest Muggwump. He was a very, very little Muggwump and even though he had never seen an Eledile he knew he’d be afraid if he saw one. Elediles are really scary. They have a head just like a crocodile and great big ears that stick way out. They are as big as an elephant and have a tail with hairs sticking up on the end that looks like a toothbrush. You’d be afraid too if you saw an Eledile.

Some of them said, “I wouldn’t be afraid of an Eledile.”, but they all thought a Big Strong King would be a good idea. So all the Muggwumps lined up, the littlest to the biggest. But the biggest Muggwump was… a girl. “We can’t have a girl as king”, the Muggwumps shouted. “Kings are always a boy.”

“Why not”, said the littlest Muggwump? But no one was listening.

“The king has to be able to run fast”, someone said.” We need a King that can run real, real fast and get a Daddywump or a Mommywump if one of us falls down and hurts a knee.” So they held a race. They ran all the way from here to there. Then they ran to the end and back. And guess what? The fastest Muggwump was … a Girl.

“We can’t have a girl for king”, they said. “Kings are always a boy.”

“Why not”, said the littlest Muggwump? But no one was listening.

“A King has to be smart”, one of the Muggwumps shouted. So they held a riddle contest. And the girl guessed all of the riddles, but they couldn’t guess one of hers.

“We can’t have a girl for king”, they said. “Kings are always a boy.”

“Why not”, said the littlest Muggwump? But no one was listening. He was a very, very smart Muggwump, but because he was so little, no one ever listened to him.

All the Muggwumps were very sad. They needed a Big King to take care of them when they were playing. They needed a Fast King to run real fast to get help if one of them got hurt. And they needed a Smart King that could teach them how to jump rope, and skip, and blow bubbles with bubble gum, and how to whistle. But a King had to be a boy. And the Biggest, the Fastest, the Smartest Muggwump was… a Girl. It was a BIG Problem. Two of the small Muggwumps even started to cry.

Finally the littlest Muggwump got mad. “Listen to me”, he shouted. And he shouted so loud that all the Muggwumps turned around to look at him. With all the Muggwumps looking at him he suddenly got shy. He couldn’t say a word and just looked down at his feet. But it was a BIG, BIG PROBLEM and only he could solve it. So he tried to be really brave and even though he was afraid he said, “Why don’t we have a Queen? Queens are always Girls.”

“He’s right”, the other Muggwumps said. “We can have a Queen.” So they picked the Girl Muggwump as their queen. And she was BIG and BRAVE. When one of the Muggwumps fell down and skinned his knee, she ran really fast and got a Mommywump who made everything all good again. And she was very, very smart. She taught all the Muggwumps how to jump rope. She taught them how to skip and blow bubbles. And she never, ever let an Eledile hurt them.

And that’s the story of how the Muggwumps solved a Big Problem and how they got their Queen.